The Jewish matchmaker

The Jewish matchmaker

Such service was virtually indispensible during the Middle Ages when custom frowned on courtships and numerous Jewish families lived in semi-isolation in small communities. Shadkhanim were thus relied upon to gather and evaluate information on the personal qualities and background of potential spouses in order to ensure a felicitous and holy union. Their recompense, fixed by custom, was often a percentage of the dowry. In some of the larger Jewish communities of eastern Europe, the reputation of shadkhanim was marred by the appearance of less than sincere matchmakers who were more interested in turning a financial profit than in honest representation. This type of shadkhan became the subject of countless Jewish jokes. Shadkhanim still exist today but in greatly reduced numbers. Info Print Cite.

Inside The World Of Jewish Matchmaking

Posted on Jul 15, in Spark Your Match. How hard can it be, right? It makes me very sad that there are so many lonely people who have no idea how to form a relationship with another person.

Still today, the matchmaker holds a special role. Aleeza Ben Shalom is a modern-​day professional Jewish matchmaker in Philadelphia.

Davis is quite rare, a matchmaker who does things the artisanal way, setting up singles through dinner parties, not apps or algorithms. She started hosting at least one Shabbat dinner a month in Davis got access to mentors, donors and business classes to put her vision in place. Labe Eden, a committee member at PresenTense who has attended a few Shabbatness dinners, says he was struck by Davis and her idea from the get go.

He explains it as a more wholesome experience than dating at a bar. The idea could seem old school—but each dinner has its own special twist.

The New Republic

We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform. We come up to bat in the bottom of the last inning, two outs and runners in scoring position; we sit in classrooms with our palm sweating, waiting to take an exam; we argue in courtrooms and make investment decisions; we move our families from one community to another… the list goes on and on. There is so much we have to do, and so much we have to get right.

Imagine then the incredible pressure Eliezer felt when he was sent out by Abraham to find a wife for his beloved son, Isaac!

Considering the problems with intermarriage especially among the millennial generation and the recent matchmaking, Shidduch Crisis, one.

Mendelson, Linda Rich, and Bunny Gibson interview three potential suitors before picking one to go on a date with their bachelor or bachelorette. The bubbies then watch them—with the help of a live camera—go on a date and afterwards give pointers on what the daters did right and wrong. The Los Angeles-based grandmothers set up singles of all ages, both Jewish and non-Jewish, and sexual preferences. One episode features daters in their 60s and 70s, while another features a member of the LGBTQ community looking for love.

She has experience working with two matchmaking services, and has appeared in more than 65 television shows and films. Rich is a bubbie to seven grandchildren and has been a cantor for plus years. She was the first female cantor in history to serve a Conservative congregation. She does couples counseling and said she draws a lot of her wisdom about dating from the Torah. Rich and Mendelson have even been helping Gibson learn about Judaism since the latter took a DNA test last year and found out she is 50 percent Jewish.

The women agreed that some of the biggest mistakes people make when it comes to dating include getting into bed too quickly with a person, talking about themselves too much and complaining a lot throughout the date. Rich celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary in October.

Inside the World of ultra-Orthodox Dating

The institution of marriage in East European Jewish society remained largely traditional until the early twentieth century but also reflected broader transformations in general society. In the absence of civil marriage in the Polish—Lithuanian Commonwealth , and later in tsarist Russia , marriage belonged to the competence of the rabbi, who supervised wedding ceremonies and adjudicated divorce according to Jewish law.

In contrast, following the Polish Partitions, the Habsburg Empire maintained an ambiguous separation of church and state in matters of family law. While the new marriage edict 16 January mandated civil unions and a German exam for all married couples, it allowed clergy to regulate divorces based on their own confessional laws.

Matchmaking: A Holy Task. Rabbi Eliyahu Safran. We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform. We come up to.

So important, so weighty, so meaningful is the decision that it is sometimes a wonder that any of us manage to cross that threshold! We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform. We come up to bat in the bottom of the last inning, two outs and runners in scoring position; we sit in classrooms with our palm sweating, waiting to take an exam; we argue in courtrooms and make investment decisions; we move our families from one community to another… the list goes on and on.

There is so much we have to do, and so much we have to get right. Imagine then the incredible pressure Eliezer felt when he was sent out by Abraham to find a wife for his beloved son, Isaac! What decision can we make that is more fateful than the choice of a lifetime mate? From that decision unfurls years of happiness, successful child-rearing, the blessing of a home filled with learning, respect and holiness.

Finding the right mate can be fraught with uncertainty; a decision of remarkable moment. So important, so weighty, so meaningful the decision that it is sometimes a wonder that any of us manage to cross that threshold! Our tradition is clear when it comes to marriage.

Matchmaking: A Holy Task

It happens every weekday evening across the entire land of Israel. Dates involving religiously observant Jews who have been brought together by a matchmaker take place in hotel lobbies, in certain approved cafes and pubs, and also in family homes. In the dark.

Rabbi Dr. Eliyahu Safran. Judaism. wedding, illustration. Flash We think of the many things we do in our lives and the remarkable pressure we feel to perform.

She was astonished. Even I can do that job. As many man-servants and maid-servants as I have, I can pair. She promptly placed one thousand man-servants opposite one thousand maid-servants and declared, “He will marry her, she will marry him,” and so on. The next morning, two thousand servants came to her door, beaten and bruised, complaining, “I do not want her, I do not want him! She sent for Rabbi Yose, and conceded: “Rabbi, your Torah is true. Who else could blend two disparate personalities so that they cleave together “as one flesh?

The conclusion was irresistible, and it was written no fewer than five times in midrashic literature: “Marriages are made in Heaven. Does not the Talmud say: “Forty days before the birth of a child, a heavenly voice proclaims! This raises a thorny question: If the selection of a mate is preordained, why is it necessary to go through the elaborate charade of selecting a suitable mate? And why do so many marriages fail? The tradition of the matchmaker traces its human origins to the “super shadkhan ” of all time, Abraham ‘s masterful servant Eliezer , who arranged no less a marriage than that of the patriarch Isaac to the matriarch Rebecca.

The Jewish Chronicle

Matchmakers access members’ profiles to find and suggest potential matches, and members can also search the data base to see limited information about members, excluding photos, names, and contact details. Tens of thousands of Jewish singles and marrieds alike have done so through Rebbetzen Esther Jungreis’ Hineini organization. Many married couples first met each other at a Hineni class or social gathering for singles.

Hineni also offers matchmaking services. Each year, Inbar celebrates a number of weddings for men and women who have met thanks to its services. The site employs many features, including private mailboxes, so users can communicate safely until they choose to share personal information.

Shadkhan, (Hebrew: “marriage broker,” or “matchmaker”,) one who undertakes to arrange a Jewish marriage. Such service was virtually indispensible during.

With so many matchmaking and online dating services, it’s no surprise that people are looking for love, but as a recent Pew study 1 shows, their search results in marriage less and less often. That’s because relationships of any kind are seldom easy. As a professor of mine said, “the thing about relationships is, you have to do them with someone else. In the Western world, we are long past an era of arranged marriages, but we can still learn something from the Bible’s account of one such match that was successful.

The story of the search for—and discovery of—a bride for Isaac, son of Abraham and Sarah, is the subject of this week’s Torah portion, Chayei Sarah. It is, perhaps, not only the earliest account of an arranged marriage, but also a romantic account of how God brings Isaac and Rebekah together. Abraham understood that his son Isaac needed a wife. His own wife Sarah had given up an easy life in Haran in order to follow Abraham to places unknown after God gave the call.

They went with all their possessions and nephew Lot in tow, a journey across the Fertile Crescent and down south and finally back up to Hebron, where Sarah died at the advanced age of Isaac was depressed after the death of his mother, who had given birth to him late in life. Abraham understood that Isaac needed a wife but he knew his son was incapable of making the choice himself. So Abraham sent an unnamed servant out to find a wife for Isaac with instructions for that no Canaanite woman would suffice as Abraham’s future daughter-in-law.

The servant’s assignment was carried out prayerfully.

Strictly Soulmates – Jewish (16th February 2012)


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